


Pride

by Usami_chan13



Category: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, POV Second Person, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-25
Updated: 2012-05-25
Packaged: 2017-11-05 23:50:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usami_chan13/pseuds/Usami_chan13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You had forgotten that you believed so highly in yourself because there was a time in your life when no one believed in you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pride

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a second person POV because I wasn't confident enough to do it from Omi's POV, but I didn't want to do it in third-person point of view either. So this is my very first attempt at second person point of view, and I think it turned out okay.
> 
> But this is also one of my _really_ old stories, I'll probably be embarrassed and/or ashamed for posting later.

There you sat on the cool grass that surrounded the temple grounds, feeling the cool moisture that clung to the blades. You stared up at the sky and waited, wondering when your friends – or anyone for that matter – would awaken to begin the day. But you couldn’t blame them for still being asleep, for the sun had yet to arise.

It had been another sleepless night for you. No matter how you tried to clear your mind through meditation, the thoughts that plagued you refused to relinquish the peace that you urgently sought for and desperately wanted.

Many days had passed since you and your friends learned that Raimundo was the one chosen to become Shoku warrior…that he would be the one to lead the rest of you in your continuous battles against the warriors of evil. And as you recalled the past events that eventually led to his ascension, you knew in your heart that he deserved the honor that was given to him. As you remembered your friend’s courageous sacrifice, his tremendous strength as he faced four Heylin warriors on his own, and his determined mind as you faced every opponent you’ve ever encountered, you understood that he was indeed meant to be leader.

And you were genuinely happy for him. He was one of your best friends after all, and you were proud of the wonderful achievement he had obtained.

But every coin had two sides. And despite the true joy you felt for your friend, his advancement to Shoku warrior still left a significant scar on your heart. Guilt consumed you as you often caught yourself wondering why it had been _him_ and not _you_. And as you watched him conversing with your fellow dragons dressed in his new Shoku robes, the pain continued to eat away at you, leaving a gaping hole in your pride.

Master Fung had warned you tirelessly about what many would call your ego. He had advised you numerous times that overconfidence in yourself would be the source of many problems you’d face. However…every time he spoke of your so-called arrogance, the look in his eyes held a mysterious understanding. Perhaps he knew all this time…he knew of what you yourself had forgotten after so long. Forgotten…but continued to hold deep within your soul.

What you had forgotten so long ago was _why_ you had so much pride in yourself to begin with.

All your life since the time you could remember, you had been building the confidence you had in yourself. With every new fact that you learned, with every new task you had accomplished, with everything you had ever achieved, your self pride grew. And you really did nothing to stop it. Master Fung often tried to remind you of what would happen if you became too overconfident, but many times you ignored his words because you felt that they did not apply to you (another unfortunate side-effect of your arrogance). The older you grew, the larger your ego grew. You believed that you were capable of achieving anything you wanted. But until recently, you had forgotten why.

You had forgotten that you believed so highly in yourself because there was a time in your life when no one believed in you.

When you were much younger, you would often ask Master Fung to retell the tale of your arrival at the Xiaolin temple. You would sit and listen as he spoke softly of his discovery of the small infant left at the temple gates one spring morning. The infant, wrapped in a pale blue blanket, was sleeping peacefully and unaware of the difficulties that it was to face in the future. There were no clues to the child’s parents or origins. As far as the monk could see, the child was left abandoned.

But for what reason? That was the question that tormented you as you grew and lived at the temple. For what reason would anyone abandon their child? For what reason…did your parents abandon you?

There were times when you wanted to believe that your parents left you at the temple for your own good. When Master Fung informed you that you were chosen to become the Xiaolin Dragon of Water, you began to hope. You wanted to think that your mother and father had known what destiny had in store for you, and that they had left you at the Xiaolin temple so that you could become what you were meant to be.

Yet somehow, you felt that it was not the case. Deep within your heart, you felt that your parents had left you at the temple for less altruistic reasons. You were almost certain that your parents had abandoned you simply because they felt that you were nothing more than a burden on them…They simply didn’t want you around.

You had heard at one point that parents were their child’s very first teachers, and sometimes even the most important ones. So you often wondered: What kind of things did your parents ever teach you? What was the lesson that your mother and father had given to you before leaving you at the temple? You had no idea who they were, you didn’t know why they left you there, and they left nothing behind for you to reach them, or even to know them. At first glance, it would seem that they left no influence to you and had no part in teaching you anything.

But you knew better. Even if they had never been around, even if you had never seen their faces or heard their voices, you knew that your mother and father had given you at least one lesson that you would hold for the rest of your life, even if you didn’t consciously remember it. They had abandoned you at the temple with no way for you to find them, and there was a possibility that they just didn’t want to keep you. The longer you contemplated these things, the more you could comprehend your parents’ lesson: You learned that in their eyes, you were worthless.

It was that single thought that scared you more than anything. But it was deeply suppressed for so long within your heart and mind that not even the Shadow of Fear was able to uncover it.

Because over the years, as you trained and studied the ways of the Xiaolin Monks at the temple, as you reflected and considered the idea that your parents abandoned you because they didn’t wish to have you…and as you began to fear that bleak truth, the more you indulged in your own private daydreams and fantasies.

It was at that time in your life, when you were still very young, that you began to imagine yourself becoming a strong warrior, a powerful Dragon of the Water. You dreamed of yourself mastering your element and everything that the monks taught you, and saw yourself growing ever stronger and honorable. You pictured yourself becoming an ultimate and mighty Xiaolin Master. And as you continued to visualize yourself that way, you continued to push yourself to achieve the vision that you created in your head. You strived to become exactly the way you wished to be, because it gave you a reason to exist. It forced you to believe in yourself, and believe that you were capable of making your dream a reality. With everything you learned and achieved, you began to trust yourself more and see just how close you were to reaching your ideal self. You began to feel pride for yourself, because the ideal you was not in any way worthless.

And you imagined that one day, when you became a powerful and honorable Xiaolin Master, your name would be recognized all over the world; in every home, in every town, in every city, in every country. As your name continued to spread, you thought of the elderly couple that would sit in their home somewhere, listening to the stories that were told of your amazing feats, or gazing at a portrait of you as that mighty warrior. Then, with tears forming in their eyes, they would whisper, “That is our own dear, beloved son. How we regret ever leaving him, and how we miss him so. But we are so proud of him, our amazing Dragon of the Water.”

That was why you continued to work so hard to become the best. You desperately strived to reach the top because it was the closest to your ideal self, and you wanted to believe that you were truly important. You wanted to know that your life was really meant to be something. As you walked along this path, as you struggled to realize your dream, your fear grew smaller and smaller. It still remained, but was concealed by the new sense of pride that developed with each new accomplishment.

Your self-respect only increased with the arrival of your friends. Even if you had to share with them the honor of being Xiaolin Dragons, they also assisted you in your quest to reach your ideal. It was one thing when you showed your skills to the elder monks, especially when they were the ones to teach you many of your abilities to begin with. With your friends, however, you could truly impress them by showing them such advanced moves while still being so young. And it worked…most of the time.

Soon, you became addicted by the words of praise you received with every new success. Master Fung, your fellow dragons, even your most fearsome adversaries on the Heylin side…It mattered not where the admiration came from. You enjoyed hearing all those compliments and words of respect because those were all the things that you’ve yearned to hear your entire life.

Unfortunately, it was never enough for you. When you received recognition for your remarkable deeds, it was indeed everything you’ve longed to hear. But it was never enough because the words were never spoken by the two people you desired to hear them from the most.

It had been so long since you mused on all these thoughts since it was so deeply buried away in the darkest depths of your mind. But the day Raimundo rose to leadership among your group of Xiaolin Warriors, all of it came flooding back to you…especially the intense fear. When Raimundo became Shoku Warrior, you realized all too quickly that it meant that you were certainly not the best. It upset you because you felt that you would never achieve your dream of becoming an ultimate warrior. The ideal you was a strong, courageous, and wise warrior. It seemed now, however, that you were none of those things, and your hopes of obtaining what you’ve sought after for so long was completely shattered and lay broken at your feet.

You found yourself shivering suddenly as you sat and waited for the morning sun. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you looked up at the sky as the stars began to fade away. You were trying to keep warm, but you quickly discovered that the cold that you felt was not coming from _around_ you, but from the emptiness _within_ you.

With a soft sigh, you then lay back in the damp grass and stared up at the darkened sky. Closing your eyes, you then began to imagine what it was like to have a family. Each time these thoughts of your parents and your fear entered your mind, you realized that you would then think of your friends’ families and try to see what it was like to have one yourself. You had seen whenever your friends received a letter or package from their relatives for different occasions – holidays, birthdays, or even just for no real reason – and you would see the happiness light up in their eyes when they discover that they had received something from home.

And then you would muse over a new fear that had developed in your mind as of late: Would there come a day when your friends – the friends that you have grown so attached to and cared for more than anything in the world – will return to their homes and leave you? For now, they all lived here at the temple with you, Master Fung, Dojo, and all the other monks. But they all had their own homes in other lands, with people who also cared for them and waited for their return. Could there be a time when they would choose to return to their families while you were to remain at the temple for the rest of your life? Would there be a time when your treasured friends would leave you behind?

Leave you behind at this temple…just as your parents had?

Tears burned beneath your eyes as the thought repeated itself over and over in your mind.

You had always been jealous of your friends. You had always wished that you had another home with people waiting for you to return. The time when you had been tricked to believe you had found your parents, you were excited when you thought you had found what you had wanted for so long; a home with people that cared for you, just like your friends had. Even if your “parents” weren’t what you expected, inwardly you were happy that you found them. When you discovered the reality, you were truly devastated.

That day, you indeed found where you belonged. You belonged here at the temple with your friends, and the man who had raised you for as long as you could remember. And you sincerely appreciated their efforts to show you that this was your home. But it also meant that you would remain at the temple for the rest of your life. It told you that you had no other place to go…ever.

What would happen, then, if the temple was to be destroyed one day? Since the battle against all of your greatest adversaries, you had wondered what would happen if this temple, your home, was demolished in a battle against Heylin forces, and everyone in it was killed in the process. What if the only survivors were the four dragons? Or worse…What if only one survived?

Raimundo could always return to his family in Brazil. Clay could go back to his father’s ranch in Texas. Kimiko could go to Japan where her father was waiting for her. But what about you? If you were the only survivor, where would you turn? You would have nowhere to go. So what would you do…all alone?

And then your eyes snapped open and you sat up as you finally realized: What in the world are you thinking?

How could you be thinking that the temple would be destroyed? Why would you think that everyone would die that way? How could you let those terrible thoughts even enter your mind? It would never happen, because you were never going to _let_ it happen.

It was true that this temple was the only home you’ve ever known, the only home that you’ve ever had. But that was exactly why you would never let anything happen to it and the people who lived there. Because you were going to do everything you could to protect it and ensure everyone’s safety.

You jumped up onto your feet, smiling widely as you imagined yourself protecting your friends – your family – and your temple home. It was your ideal self, back from the grave you had placed it in. You would practice and train yourself everyday. With Raimundo’s guidance, with Clay and Kimiko’s cooperation, and with Master Fung’s wisdom to help you on your path, you knew that you could become the great warrior that you had always dreamed of. It was that ideal you that had the true strength to guard over everything that you cared for in your heart.

You still dreamed of meeting your parents someday. You still wished to know who they were and why they had left you at the temple. But now you realized that there were more important things you needed to do for now. For now, you needed to do whatever you could to climb the ladder and reach the dream you had built for yourself, and continue to build for yourself. You didn’t know when, but you’d get there.

And if you ever did meet your mother and father, they would see the you that you created and dreamed of, the you that you obtained through all your hard work and effort. They would see the kind of person you would become, who could defend his home and family with his life.

They would see someone who they could truly take pride in.


End file.
